One of my good friends Meghan recently became a matron of honor. As we chatted about weddings and her new found responsibility, I thought it would be an awesome opportunity to share her first-hand experience, thoughts, and advice. This is the beginning of a series of blog posts that focuses on what it’s like to be a matron/maid of honor in today’s society and the best way to handle the ever-growing responsibility of being the second in command to a bride-to-be. – Written by Meghan Stoneburner
The New Way
The way we find out about news, whether national or amongst our friends and family, is different nowadays than it was 10 years ago. I usually hear about a national headline or a friend’s new job on social media. No longer do I read the newspaper or get a phone call alerting me to this new change. And engagements are no different!
Nowadays, we find out via text or Facebook post that our friend or family member are engaged. Within hours, there will be a snapshot of the ring on the bride-to-be’s hand and a picture of the smiling couple. Even if we want to hate these sorts of posts (like the 1,000 picture of your new baby), we really don’t. Nobody hates happy people. Nobody hates love. Well, nobody should hate happy people in love but that’s a whole other topic.
I was lucky enough to witness a dear friend of mine get engaged recently right in front of me and it was such an unexpected and thrilling experience. I will never forget seeing the shock and joy spread across her face and hearing the nervous waver in his voice.
It’s an Honor, not a Given:
Within 10 minutes of that proposal, I was asked to be the matron of honor and of course, I said yes. I actually said it before she was even done asking. And there might or might not have been tears and big hugs involved. For those wonder what the difference is, a matron of honor is married and a maid of honor is not.
Unbeknownst to most MOHs, there is usually someone in the wedding party that wishes they had been chosen as the MOH and not you. Maybe it’s a close friend or a sister or a cousin or even an old college roommate. There is usually someone that thinks they can do a better job or is closer to the bride but in the end, the bride choose you for a reason. My bride choose me because we have been friends for a loooong time and she knows that no matter what my whole goal will always be to make sure she has the most amazing time as a bride with as little stress as humanly possible. Plus I’m pretty handy with a hot glue gun. :)
Being a matron/maid of honor (MOH) is literally, an honor and should be treated as such. It’s also a part time job and that job starts IMMEDIATELY whether you are ready or not. You can also get fired from your position, so work hard.
Technology is Your Friend:
If you haven’t been a MOH in the last 5 years, I can explain using one simple word, what happens in the first 24-48 hours of being asked:
Boards are made and the pins start flooding in covering everything from bridal shower ideas to DIY wedding decorations to honeymoon suggestions. A theme is picked, colors are chosen and you are a part of almost all of it from the beginning because you’re the second in command. Yes, we want to believe that the fiancé is the second but in reality, it’s the MOH. Lets be real.
Within hours, I had created a Bridal Shower Pinterest board and started pinning ideas and at the same time, the bride created a wedding board and invited her mother, her sister and I to pin anything we thought she might like. And pin we did!
As the conversations continue and ideas start to flow from everyone, not just the wedding party, you start to realize that no matter how easy the internet makes communication, sometimes it will feel like there are too many chefs in the kitchen.
It’s the Bride’s World:
It’s important for you as the MOH to remember that the wedding and the parties before are FOR THE BRIDE (and the groom) and have absolutely nothing to do with what anyone else wants. My opinion doesn’t really matter but my job as a MOH is to be there to comfort, support and assist the bride in any way possible.
I’m lucky. I have the opposite of Bridezilla on my hands. She’s the sweetest bride-to-be ever and I’m so thankful!
The next month included several awesome appointments-including an all day wedding expo and shopping for bridesmaid dresses. Things moved quicker than I expected and every step brought the big picture together.
If you are a matron/maid of honor, remember these beginning tips:
- Remember, it’s an honor to be a MOH and not a given. It’s a lot of responsibility and isn’t a job to be taken lightly.
- The bride is your only responsibility! Making her happy, no matter what and even if it pisses someone else off, is your whole purpose. Focus on her!
- Use the internet to your advantage! Pinterest and Google are your friend and you should use them to help create the best experience possible for everyone!
About The Author
Meghan is a Social Media Manager for Mock, the Agency, an advertising agency in Atlanta. She is also a mother, a wife, a writer, an artist and a self-proclaimed book nerd. You can find more Meghan on Twitter.
My name is Matt Druin and I’m an Atlanta wedding photographer that specializes in unique, offbeat weddings for all awesome people! Not only do I shoot amazing Atlanta weddings, but I also travel frequently for destination weddings, and weddings all over, with no travel fees in the US for amazing wedding photography. I also shoot Atlanta engagement sessions for newly engaged couples. I’ve even been known to travel, and far, for engagement sessions too!
Contact Atlanta Wedding Photographer Matthew Druin
Email [email protected]
Address 225 Parkway 575 #66 Woodstock, Georgia 30188